At Muncie my bike broke, at mile 8. This left me in the same gear for an entire 48 miles. Impossible to race with only one bike gear. Every kind of thought went through my head at some point in that race-do I quit? finish and get a few points? (there were less than 15 girls at that race so even last place guaranteed me points towards Vegas) stop and sign up for another race? dismiss the vegas idea all together?
Before the race began we had a moment of silence for a triathlete (who was also a doctor, wife, and mother) who had died in a bike-car accident the week before the race. During my self pity after my bike broke I thought about this woman and all the other people who are unable to race. I thought, "I have two arms, two legs, my health, this broken bike is not so bad. I'm still out here with the wind on my face and family and friends that will be my friends and family whether I win or DNF." So I sucked it up and kept going. The bike was certainly no race, I was spinning on the downhills or with the wind at my bike, and cranking out hardcore on the uphills. I was kind-of able to race the run and actually ended up finish in not last place!
Based on the points after Muncie qualifying for Vegas looked very difficult, but still possible if I had a stellar race at Steelhead. However, at Steelhead the swim was cancelled. Are you kidding me?? Is someone out to get me? A broken bike and then take away what gives me a chance against these other pros? I have to admit I had a few thoughts along the lines of do I still race, or save it up for another race? There were about 20 pro girls at Steelhead, so even if I managed to do well for me without the swim, I knew I would still be in the bottom half. Well I sucked it up and gave the brick all I had. I finished in 16th I think. Not impressive, but they did take away my strength. The glass half-full take-away from this race was that if I could beat some girls (even though few) without the swim must mean that I really can race with these pros. Even though I was disappointed with no swim and my place, I'm so excited to keep training at the bike and run and see how much I can improve them.
Anyway, I got a little of track. Before I even started at Steelhead I figured my Vegas dreams were shot. Without a swim there was no way, right? Then after I finished in 16th, I definitely figured I was far from qualifying. I had stopped thinking about it and have been going through this week as a sort-of mid-season break in preparation for some big training for Ironman Cozumel in November. Then last night I received an email that I was invited to race Vegas! Of course, the slots had rolled down to me. Seemed impossible, but somehow it did! Had I not finished Muncie, or not started Steelhead, it would surely not have made it down to me.
Back in high school during club swimming we listened to mental preparation tapes before our end of the season swim meets. On one tape they talk about tennis players. How sometimes they can be running towards a ball and then stop just short of it because they think they cannot reach it. The observer, however, could see that had they kept going they could have reached it. The point was that even if it doesn't look like you can make it, you just might be able to. Better to try and miss it, then not try when you could have reached the ball. Or in my case, Vegas.
Vegas seemed just out of reach but I never gave up and put all I had into races and finished (ok, maybe part of that is just being stubborn). And it WAS possible. Now I realize at this level that sometimes decisions must be made differently, but this just happened to be the the case where I thought there was no possible way I could reach my goal. Had I given up at any point I wouldn't have. Even though I couldn't see how it would work, I raced and gave it my all, and it did work out! (forget the fact that it rolled down, who turned down there slot!?!?!? sad for them, happy for me) Never lose hope or give up!
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